Saturday, February 28, 2009

Driving might be the thing most opposite of dancing.

All quotes by author Miranda July

"What a terrible mistake to let go of something wonderful for something real."

"Some people need a red carpet rolled out in front of them in order to walk forward into friendship. They can't see the tiny outstretched hands all around them, everywhere, like leaves on trees."

"People tend to stick to their own size group because it's easier on the neck. Unless they are romantically involved, in which case the size difference is sexy. It means: I am willing to go the distance for you."

"Are you angry? Punch a pillow. Was it satisfying? Not hardly. These days people are too angry for punching. What you might try is stabbing. Take an old pillow and lay it on the front lawn. Stab it with a big pointy knife. Again and again and again. Stab hard enough for the point of the knife to go into the ground. Stab until the pillow is gone and you are just stabbing the earth again and again, as if you want to kill it for continuing to spin, as if you are getting revenge for having to live on this planet day after day, alone."

"Look at the sky: that is for you. Look at each person's face as you pass on the street: those faces are for you. And the street itself, and the ground under the street, and the ball of fire underneath the ground: all these things are for you. There are as much for you as they are for other people. Remember this when you wake up in the morning and think you have nothing."

"If there were a map of the solar system, but instead of stars it showed people and their degrees of separation, my star would be the one you had to travel the most light-years from to get to his. You would die getting to him."

"Sometimes I would make left turns all the way around a block, and when I returned to the original intersection, I would feel disappointed to find all the drivers were new. It wasn't like a square dance, where you miraculously end up with your original partner, laughing and feeling giddily relieved to find him after dancing with everyone else in the world. Instead, they swung around and kept on going, some people were at work by now, or halfway to the airport. In fact, driving might be the thing most opposite of dancing."

"That day I carried the dream around like a full glass of water, moving gracefully so I would not lose any of it."

"He seemed to be waiting for me to move forward. Weren't we all."

"I looked at other couples and wondered how they could be so calm about it. They held hands as if they weren't even holding hands. When Steve and I held hands, I had to keep looking down to marvel at it. There was my hand, the same hand I've always had - oh, but look! What is it holding? It's holding Steve's hand! Who is Steve? My three-dimensional boyfriend. Each day I wondered what would happen next. What happens when you stop wanting, when you are happy. I supposed I would go on being happy forever."

"This person realizes that staying home means blowing off everyone this person has ever known. But the desire to stay in is very strong. This person wants to run a bath and then read in bed."

Friday, February 27, 2009

Floating is a fine thing.

She grabs her magazines, she packs her things, and she goes. She leaves the pictures hanging on the wall, she burns all her notes and she knows she's been here too few years to feel this old.

It is like substituting coffee for sleep, or drugs for people, or gods for personal responsibility, or disappearances for new beginnings (or even fair endings), or lies for love, or words for kisses, or something for nothing and nothing for something and it never ends and it is always always flat. And in the end, this is what it is like ...

I will remember these things, turn them over and over again in my mind -- and they will make me smile, quietly, somewhere deep inside my chest.

Floating is a fine thing, but hitting your head on the ceiling repeatedly -- it really starts to hurt after a while.

Because it was getting dark, and because the streets were crowded, I bumped into googolplex people. Who were they? Where were they going? What were they looking for? I wanted to hear their heartbeats, and I wanted them to hear mine.

"You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don't make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing, and do them so well that people can't take their eyes off you."
--Maya Angelou

"A cynical young person is almost the saddest sight to see because it means that he or she has gone from knowing nothing to believing in nothing."
--Maya Angelou

Things change.

Things change the way you feel. And things change.

To know you like your tongue knows the back of your teeth. That's all I want.

Everything you like, I will find some reason to dislike and if we find we like the same thing, I will insist that you like it less than me or for the wrong reasons, like you don’t really understand the things you like. Because that makes me feel better about who I am. What I am.

I was wondering if you had a second. To talk about anything at all.

You can be as logical, rational and objective as you want, it's not going to change the way you feel. Put it this way; you telling me that lunch is in an hour doesn't make me less hungry.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

It all just happens.

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."
--Rainer Maria Rilke

The battle of head versus heart is excruciating. Which is the right one to follow? My head which is trying to protect my heart? Or my heart, my heart that is falling hopelessly, leading me into a dead end, walking me head first into a brick wall?

"So we build walls instead of bridges and all that crap because somewhere along the way it was decided that it was far worse to let someone in and have them hurt you, than it is to not let anyone in at all."
--Kim Wagner

"It's very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less -- even a vague pathetic facsimile of less -- than you would have ever imagined. Remember always what you set out to get and please don't settle for less. These guys exist because there are a lot of women out there who allow them to."
--Greg Behrendt, 'He's Just Not That Into You'

"One of the mixed blessings about being twenty and twenty-one and even twenty-three is the conviction that nothing like this, all evidence to the contrary notwithstanding, has ever happened to anyone before."
--Joan Didion, 'Goodbye to All That'

"This is what the things can teach us: to fall, patiently to trust our heaviness. Even a bird has to do that before he can fly."
--Rainer Maria Rilke

Good days. Bad days. They just happen. It all just happens.

"You owe it to us all to get on with what you’re good at."
--W.H. Auden

He will be there every day to ask, "What are you looking for?" And will you answer? And will it matter?

The problem with doing everything is that you have no time for doing nothing.

“It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.”
--E.E. Cummings

Only boring people get bored.

You had caught my leaping heart in your hand like a fish.

She is the sum of you and your dreams. You tug at yellow ribbons in her hair, but she is solid. As for you, you are watercolor; you wash off. You walk gracefully, unmarked by your voyage. Still, that unnameable lust returns.

"Your heart has never been broken. You’ve never done anything unforgivable or hurt anyone beyond reparation. Everyone you’ve ever loved you’ve treated like gold. "
--George Saunders, 'Offloading for Mrs. Schwartz'

I was out there calling you in my head. And then you appeared! What a team we are.

Someone is interested in you. Keep your eyes open.

"That’s love: Two lonely persons keep each other safe and touch each other and talk to each other."
--Rainer Maria Rilke

"Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
--Rainer Maria Rilke

It took me nearly a year to get here. It wasn’t so hard to cross that street after all, it all depends on who’s waiting for you on the other side.

Even when my life gets crazy, you are my first thought in the morning, my last thought at night and the only person I ever wanted to belong to.

The house was full of dancing creatures, not male and female but both, two lovers in one body. The books downstairs were reciting their poetry to each other, rubbing together, whispering through leather covers. Wine was flowing through the water pipes. You had caught my leaping heart in your hand like a fish.

"I keep thinking, 'Now those men think I'm purely decorative, and they're fools for not knowing better' -- and I love being rather unfathomable. You are the only person on earth, Lover, who has ever known and loved all of me -- Men love me 'cause I'm pretty -- and they're always afraid of mental wickedness -- and some men love me 'cause I'm clever, and they're always afraid of my prettiness -- One or two have ever loved me 'cause I'm lovable, and then, of course, I was acting. But you just do, darling -- and I do -- so very, very much."
--Zelda to F. Scott Fitzgerald, May 1919

Thursday, February 19, 2009

You make me feel like a moth that's reached the moon.

You and me, we're clever. People, on the other hand, are stupid.

One day, you will be given back every pen you've ever lost.

If nothing else, one day you can look someone straight in the eyes and say, "But I lived through it. And it made me who I am today."

It does not count if you believe in yourself when it's easy to believe in yourself. It does not count if you believe the world can be a better place when the future looks bright. It does not count if you think you're going to make it when the finish line is right in front of you. It counts when it's hard to believe in yourself, when it looks like the world's going to end and you've still got a long way to go. That's when it counts. That's when it matters the most.

Which is why you make me feel like a moth that's reached the moon.

You'll be as shocked as I was to discover that their last words weren't, "Did everybody like me? Did I like the right music? Were enough people attracted to me? How did people feel about my decisions? You don't think I upset anyone do you?"

I hope they make you happy. That's what I'll say.

I won't keep circling the ocean forever, hoping I'll spot your island on the horizon, uncolonised and flying an old, tattered flag. You on the shore with the sand between your toes.

If you enjoy the title of your job more than your job, you're in the wrong job.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I can barely tell the difference between what is real and what I believe.

All quotes by author Nicole Krauss

"After that day when I saw the elephant, I let myself see more and believe more. It was a game I played with myself. When I told Alma the things I saw she would laugh and tell me she loved my imagination. For her I changed pebbles into diamonds, shoes into mirrors, I changed glass into water, I gave her wings and pulled birds from her ears and in her pockets she found feathers, I asked a pear to become a pineapple, a pineapple to become a lightbulb, a lightbulb to become the moon, and the moon to become a coin I flipped for her love, both sides were heads: I knew I couldn't lose. And now, at the end of my life, I can barely tell the difference between what is real and what I believe. For example, this letter in my hand--I can feel it between my fingers. The paper is smooth, except in the creases. I can unfold it, and fold it again. As certain as I am sitting here now, this letter exists. And yet. In my heart, I know my hand is empty."
--'The History of Love'

"Holding hands, for example, is a way to remember how it feels to say nothing together."

My brother and I used to play a game. I'd point to a chair. "THIS IS NOT A CHAIR," I'd say. Bird would point to the table. "THIS IS NOT A TABLE." "THIS IS NOT A WALL," I'd say. "THAT IS NOT A CEILING." We'd go on like that. "IT IS NOT RAINING OUT." "MY SHOE IS NOT UNTIED!" Bird would yell. I'd point to my elbow. "THIS IS NOT A SCRAPE." Bird would lift his knee. "THIS IS ALSO NOT A SCRAPE!" "THAT IS NOT A KETTLE!" "NOT A CUP!" "NOT A SPOON!" "NOT DIRTY DISHES!" We denied whole rooms, years, weathers. Once, at the peak of our shouting, Bird took a deep breath. At the top of his lungs, he shrieked: "I! HAVE NOT! BEEN! UNHAPPY! MY WHOLE! LIFE!" "But you're only seven," I said.

"An average of seventy-four species become extinct every day, which was one good reason, but not the only one, to hold someone's hand."

"Maybe the first time you saw her you were ten. She was standing in the sun scratching her legs. Or tracing letters in the dirt with a stick. Her hair was being pulled. Or she was pulling someone's hair. And a part of you was drawn to her, and a part of you resisted--wanting to ride off on your bicycle, kick a stone, remain uncomplicated. In the same breath you felt the strength of a man, and a self-pity that made you feel small and hurt. Part of you thought: Please don't look at me. If you don't, I can still turn away. And part of you thought: Look at me."
--'The History of Love'