Friday, October 22, 2010

baby blue sedan

I’ve been (barely) living, slow like clock hands during the final stretch; a hiccup in time. Currently spending all of my time staring at maps, measuring the distance, the difference, praying my feet will find solid ground before momentum knocks me completely down, writing, you, writing you. West coast weather, southern boys, yawning, staying awake all night. Forgetting what it’s like to not be anxious or to not miss someone or to not be so tired all of the time. Life is pretty funny sometimes. More often than most people want to realize, I think. Some people just don’t get its sense of humor, that’s how I see it. Because it’s not always “haha” funny, it’s not always “keeling over on the bookstore floor ‘til your eyelashes are glistening with tears” funny. Sometimes it’s “walking all night in the rain with a broken flashlight and a broken heart and sleeping on the front porch till the morning comes to wake you up” funny. Sometimes it’s a series of ironic somethings that have you feeling like the universe is playing pranks on you. Currently wishing I was doing anything but wasting all of this time wondering. Currently letting my tongue roll the ‘r’ in risky like it doesn’t terrify me. Currently, Baby Blue Sedan, I am doing the best that I can.

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