Words aren't necessary.

A person who can speak many languages is not necessarily more valuable than a person who can listen in one.

“When I say beautiful things, I'm not necessarily living them; when I live them, the beautiful thing is that words aren't necessary.”

--Brock Tully

Sixty-five days, three hundred more and nothing's gonna change

Except the day I wish you back to me

“Lonely men seek companionship. Lonely women sit at home and wait. They never meet.”

--Abraham Lincoln

And everyone just spends their day thinking of someone who's thinking of someone else.

No two loves are identical.

"How different this moment feels, for so many reasons. I tell myself that no two loves are identical--but that I don't have to compare anymore."

--Emily Griffin, 'Love The One You're With'

"I couldn't help but wonder if that was what love was--believing that someone was going to come through, in the end, and that it would still count."

--Laura Dave, 'London Is the Best City in America'

If my heart was a house you'd be home

"Maybe finding one's true self is like building a house and then making it home."

--Anna Esaki-Smith, 'Meeting Luciano'

"When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life."

--Richard Bach

Love is a form of prejudice. You love what you need, you love what makes you feel good, you love what is convenient. How can you say you love one person when there are ten thousand people in the world that you would love more if you ever met them? But you'll never meet them.

“When you’re in love, you don’t need words. A look, a touch, a sigh — you’ve said it all.”

--Juliet Mills

"Many people love in themselves what they hate in others."

--Benzel Sternan

"The best time to make friends is before you need them."

--Ethel Barrymore

Life is far too short not to have a little umbrella in your drink. The bright hilarity of my kind friends and very dear girls.

Why can't I ever be happy where I am?

"Paris," she whispered.

"Paris," he promised.

I miss what I already have and I surround myself with things that are missing.

It's hard to sleep without you here, but it's nice to care about someone enough to miss them so much.

I got a letter in the mail today from Matthew. It's nice to be reminded that your friends still care about the things you care about and they are still thinking of you even though they aren't calling you up to tell you every time it happens. We talked last night about how it was sad to see people you might have thought you missed just to find them caught up in the same bullshit you left months ago. And today I read a poem about what we built falling to pieces, about what was ours being taken away. It was a slow invasion, but it sure worked. It's hard to say but maybe if we had claimed what was ours that town would still be our town and that house would have been our home.

There is only one state in between Illinois and Ohio. And New Hampshire is right next to Massachusetts, but right now I'm in Florida and he is in North Carolina. I'm at least three states away from everyone I love.

1. You were what I was missing when I had everything else.

2. Now I'm missing everything else.

I can pin point every goddamn thing that bothers me and I feel completely helpless because I know exactly how to change it and I'm just not doing it.

You and I could be anywhere, I just wish anywhere wasn't here.

Today was the first time I hung out with someone in this town without alcohol there. I thought it was nice and they thought it was boring. Why can't I ever be happy where I am?

Things I find to be annoying:

1. Bug bites

2. People who feel like they need to be drunk all the time.

3. People who pride themselves on that.

4. When my dog won't go to the bathroom when we're outside and I know she has to go.

5. Asking "Are you hiring?"

6. When people don't pick up after themselves.

It's been too hot to do anything besides sit in the living room and I'm too busy thinking all the time that I never have the time to actually stop and think. What am I doing? Where do I want to go? And what's the best way to get there?

You're next to me and I'm holding my breath and you're holding my waist.

Life is chaos.

This isn't torture. Torture happens in small, dark rooms in countries with names you struggle to spell. This is just mildly unpleasant. This isn't heroism. Heroism happens in churches that are also schools, performed by teachers with no names and no place to stay. This is just a good deed for the day. This isn't loss. Loss happens on fields filled with poppies, in hospitals buzzing with flies, in distant deserts and late at night when there's no good reason for the phone to ring. This is just longing. This isn't important. Important happens on bended knees and is breathed on last breaths with hands clutched tight, hearts tighter. This is just a distraction.

If it doesn't happen magically over night, you might want to try doing it manually, every day.

If our arms aren't strong enough, we'll rip the roof off with our hearts. If the road is dark, our dreams will light the way. If there isn't space in the back, we'll make space in our hopes. Pack a bag with everything you want to keep and leave the rest behind. Because I'm coming to pick you up.

You buy things and you keep them clean. You take care of them. Keep them in a special pocket. Away from keys and coins. Away from other things that should be kept clean and taken care of as well. Then they get scratched. And scratched again. And again. And again. And again. Soon, you don't care about them anymore. You don't keep them in a special pocket. You throw them in the bag with everything else. They've surpassed their form and become nothing but function. People are like that. You meet them and keep them clean. In a special pocket. And then you start to scratch them. Not on purpose. Sometimes you just drop them by accident or forget which pocket they're in. But after the first scratch, it's all downhill from there. You see past their form. They become function. They are a purpose. Only their essence remains.

Don't be afraid of the world. We're just all the people you could've been.

I don't know if you felt that or not. But it felt like two people kissing after hours of thinking about it. It felt like two people talking after nights of silence. It felt like two people touching after weeks of being numb. It felt like two people facing each other after months of looking away. It felt like two people in love after years of being alone. And it felt like two people meeting each other, after an entire lifetime of not meeting each other.

And you keep whispering the same story to yourself "I'll be unhappy now because that'll make me happy later. Because that's how a story works." So your happiness will always happen later, never now. Life isn't a story. Life is chaos.

I won't compose prose every morning you open your eyes next to me (I won't compare you to a summer's day). I won't kiss the tears from your cheeks whenever you cry. I won't remember every appointment. I won't keep the sheen on my armour. I won't know what to say sometimes. I won't get your order right. I'll be late. I'll fuck-up. But I'll write something for you when you least expect it (in summer or winter). But I'll hold you as tight as I can whenever I can. But I'll burst through the door as soon as I remember. But I'll polish it until it shines again. But I'll say something anyway. But I'll go back and make it right. But I'll get there. But I'll try.

Something has moved and bumped the cradle of everything. The world is out of sync. Birds fly backwards and the fish swim through the air. Hours pass like seconds and seconds pass like hours. The light fades before the sun leaves. The stars shine before the night falls. I am here early. You are here late.

Oh shut up. Every time it rains, it stops raining. Every time you hurt, you heal. After darkness, there is always light and you get reminded of this every morning but still you choose to believe that the night will last forever. Nothing lasts forever. Not the good or the bad. So you might as well smile while you're here.

If you've got the time, we can play a game. It’s easy. We just see if I’m the same shape as the space you have inside you. If everything fits, we both win. If it doesn’t, don’t force it. That's how you get splinters in your heart.

There's not enough soil in the earth for how deep I want to be buried. There's not enough water in the oceans for how slowly I want to sink. There's not enough fire in the sun for how brightly I want to burn. There aren't enough words in my head to say all the things I can't. There's not enough blood in my body for all I need to bleed. There's aren't enough couches in the world for how long I want to sleep. There's not enough life in me, for all I want to live. All I've had enough of, is you.

You would like to hand your heart to her and say touch it but then give it back.

All quotes by Charles Bukowski

"I don't know if this is true to you but for me sometimes it gets so bad that anything else, say like, looking at a bird on an overhead power line seems as great as a Beethoven symphony. Then you forget it and you're back again."

--'A Moment'

"That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen."

--'Women: A Novel'

"My ambition is handicapped by laziness."

--'Factotum'

"There's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I'm too tough for him, I say, stay in there, I'm not going to let anybody see you."

"If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery--isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you'll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is."

--'Factotum'

"Nothing was ever in tune. People just blindly grabbed at whatever there was: communism, health foods, zen, surfing, ballet, hypnotism, group encounters, orgies, biking, herbs, Catholicism, weight-lifting, travel, withdrawal, vegetarianism, India, painting, writing, sculpting, composing, conducting, backpacking, yoga, copulating, gambling, drinking, hanging around, frozen yogurt, Beethoven, Back, Buddha, Christ, TM, H, carrot juice, suicide, handmade suits, jet travel, New York City, and then it all evaporated and fell apart. People had to find things to do while waiting to die. I guess it was nice to have a choice."

--'Women: A Novel'

"You boys can keep your virgins. Give me hot old women in high heels with asses that forgot to get old."

"I loved you like a man loves a woman he never touches, only writes to, keeps little photographs of."

"Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you're allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It's like killing yourself, and then you're reborn. I guess I've lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now."

"There is a loneliness in this world so great that you can see it in the slow movement of the hands of a clock."

"Pain is strange. A cat killing a bird, a car accident, a fire. Pain arrives--bang! And there it is, it sits on you. It's real. And to anybody watching, you look foolish. Like you've suddenly become an idiot. There's no cure for it unless you know somebody who understands how you feel, and knows how to help."

"We are like roses that have never bothered to bloom when we should have bloomed and it is as if the sun has become disgusted with waiting."

"If you get married they think you're finished and if you are without a woman they think you're incomplete."

"But now and then, a woman walks up, full blossom, a woman just bursting out of her dress…a sex creature, a curse, the end of it all."

"Dogs and angels are not very far apart."

"I never met another man I'd rather be. And even if that's a delusion, it's a lucky one."

"In that drunken place you would like to hand your heart to her and say touch it but then give it back."

"Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside—remembering all the times you've felt that way."

"She was desperate and she was choosey at the same time, and, in a way, beautiful, but she didn't have quite enough going for her to become what she imagined herself to be."

"I stopped looking for a Dream Girl, I just wanted one that wasn't a nightmare."