Thursday, November 13, 2008

It's not supposed to be like this.

All quotes from 'The Truth About Forever' by Sarah Dessen

Doesn’t it seem sometimes like the whole damn world’s uphill?

But this was just one chance to vary and see where it took me. The fireflies were probably already out: maybe it wasn’t just a season or a time but a whole world I’d forgotten. I’d never know until I stepped into it. So I did.

And that was it. All this buildup to a great leap, and I didn’t fall or fly. Instead I found myself back on the edge of the cliff, blinking, wondering if I’d ever jumped at all. It's not supposed to be like this.

When he first put his arms around me, it was tentative, like maybe he expected I’d pull away. When I didn’t, he moved in closer, his hands smoothing over my shoulders. I let him pull me against him, pressing my head against his chest, where I could feel his heart beating, steady and true. This was what you were supposed to do. And it happened all the time.

I’d tried to hold myself apart, showing only what I wanted, doling out bits and pieces of who I was. But that only works for so long. Eventually, even the smallest fragments can’t help but make a whole.

I knew that anything could happen here. It might be too late, I might have missed my chance. But I would at least know I had tried, that I took my heart and extended my hand, whatever the outcome.

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