Sunday, November 30, 2008

No one is supposed to go through life that vulnerable.

“My first thought this morning was ‘I feel okay’. You know what I mean -- that moment before you remember who you are and what the actual facts of your life are? My first thought, in my gut, in my body, was ‘I feel okay’. I haven’t felt that in a long time. Usually, you know, I open my eyes and I already feel like shit. Like in my sleep I was feeling like shit, and waking up was just an extension of that, you know? But this morning, my first thought was ‘I feel okay’. As if my body wasn’t, you know, housing any more sadness.”
--Liz Tuccillo, 'How To Be Single'

“How do people do this?” she asked. “How do people keep putting themselves out there when they know they’re probably just going to get hurt? How can anyone deal with that much disappointment? It’s unnatural. We’re not supposed to go through life so exposed. That’s why people get married. Because no one is supposed to go through life that vulnerable. No one is supposed to be forced to meet so many strangers who end up making you feel bad!”
--Liz Tuccillo, 'How To Be Single'

I started thinking about my life, and about what is going on. And how I don't even know. How I have no idea what I should even be knowing at this point. I just know that maybe in a year or two, this will all clear up, and it will all make sense, and maybe even then the odds will be in my favor. Maybe I will have better luck, but for right now this is what I have. This is what life has given me, and I guess I just have to live. Just live.

When asked to name the one person absent from her life that she missed the most, she responded, “The person I hoped I’d be by this point in my life."

No comments: