Sunday, August 17, 2008

Nobody's life is filled with perfect little moments.

All quotes from 'P.S. I Love You' by Cecelia Ahern

"She wished she hadn’t drunk so much, but with all the talk of weddings & husbands & happiness, she had needed all the wine in the bar to prevent her from screaming at everyone to shut up."

"What a luxury it was for people to be able to hold their loved ones whenever they wanted."

"'Are you okay?' Every time someone asks me that question, I say, ‘I’m fine, thank you,’ but to be honest, I’m not. Do people really want to know how you feel when they ask how are you? Or are they just trying to be polite? The next time the woman across the road from my house says to me, ‘How are you?’ I’m going to say to her, ‘Well, actually I’m not very well at all, thank you. I’m feeling a bit depressed & lonely, pissed off at the world. Envious of you & your perfect little family but not particularly envious of your husband for having to live with you’ & then I’ll tell her about how I started a new job & met lots of new people & how I’m trying hard to pick myself up but that I’m not at a loss about what to do. Then I’ll tell her how it pisses me off when everyone says time is a healer when at the same time they also say absence makes the heart grow fonder, which really confuses me, because that means that the longer he’s gone the more I want him. I’ll tell her that nothing is healing at all & that every morning I wake up in my empty bed it feels like salt is being rubbed into those unhealing wounds. & then I’ll tell her about how much I miss my husband & about how worthless my life seems without him, & I’ll explain how I feel like I’m just waiting for my world to end so that I can join him. She’ll probably say, ‘Oh that’s good,’ like she always does, kiss her husband goodbye, hop into her car & drop her kids at school, go to work, make the dinner & eat the dinner, & go to bed with her husband. And she’ll have it all done while I’m still trying to decide what color shirt to wear to work."

"If only every minute of my life were filled with perfect little moments like this, I would never moan again."

"Nobody’s life is filled with perfect little moments & if it were, they wouldn’t be perfect little moments. They would just be normal. How would you ever know happiness if you never experienced downs?"

"She couldn’t seem to let go. She couldn’t let go because she didn’t want to let go, & she didn’t want to let go because he was all she had, but she didn’t really have him, so she felt lost & confused."

"Just as soon as she was getting around to picking up the pieces of her shattered life, she dropped them all again & sent them shattering."

"She tried to find a routine she could happily fall into so that she felt like she belonged in her body & her body belonged in this life, instead of wandering around like a zombie watching everybody else live theirs while she waited around for hers to end."

"She wished all her memories could be of the good times, but the bad times kept coming back to haunt her. They had all been such a waste of time."

"She knew that people said that one day she would be happy again & that this feeling would just be a distant memory. It was getting to that day that was the hard part."

"She needed to stop living her life in her head, remembering old memories & dreaming impossible dreams. It would never get her anywhere."

"She wanted to feel happy for her friends, really she did, but she couldn’t shake off the feeling of being left behind. Everyone else’s lives were moving on except hers."

"She was jealous of them & their good fortune. She was angry with them for moving on without her. Even in the company of friends she felt alone; in a room of a thousand people she would feel alone, but mostly when she roamed the rooms of her quiet house she felt so alone."

"Memories were fine, but you couldn’t touch them, smell them or hold them. They were never exactly as the moment had been, & they faded with time."

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with returning to the house you grew up in every now & then. It’s good for the soul."

"I just have to do something that I really don’t want to do, but I kind of want to do it, which makes me not want to do it even more because it seems so wrong even though it’s right."

"She stopped at every single set of traffic lights she met, & all she wanted to do was go home & throw a tantrum in the privacy of her own home."

"There was no better laxative than fear."

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